He’s an amazing man.
He works hard for our family. He shows me he loves me every day. He brings me coffee in bed, reads stories to our children, cooks, and even does his own laundry, on occasion. He is a wonderful father, not just to the daughter we created together but also to my other children. He loves them fiercely.
He didn’t understand why I wanted to invite a virtual stranger to one of the most intimate events of our life but he knew better than to argue with me when I had my mind set on something.
I hired the only doula I could find local to me at the time. It turned out that was our luck! She taught me what a doula does and will always have a special place in my heart. He didn’t meet her until I was in labour. I called her as soon as I was sure things were happening because I was afraid to repeat my past experiences.
I could not have imagined feeling more connected to him or more supported by him.
She showed him how and where I may want to be touched. She reassured him when I seemed to be out of my mind and he needed to know that what was happening was normal. She stayed with me so he could take time out to recharge his batteries and check on our other children. When complications arose, she helped us gather the information we needed to make the right decisions for us. She knew where the warm blankets were, assisted the hospital staff when they needed an extra hand so that he could focus on me completely. Her gentle suggestions and reminders kept me in good spirits, my bladder empty, and my body hydrated. She took the only photos we have of the day our daughter was born, perfectly capturing us both as we met the person our love had created.
I fell so much deeper in love with him that day.
He gave me all of him.
I will never forget looking deep into his eyes during the really, hard parts and feeling like I could reach out and touch the love between us. My memories of that day have gotten us through some tough times over the years. He was able to give his all to me because of the reassurance she gave him, the breaks he was able to get to care for himself, and confidence he had with her guidance and encouragement.
To this day when I tease him about what a sensitive guy he is (we like to mock gender norms) and bring up the incredible support he provided that day, he gets a little gleam in his eye and says “I blame it on the doula.”.